17 Things for My Little Man to Know

I am a Mom. First and foremost. Every thought of my day is in some way tied to my son. He and I have been a team since the moment he was born and as I wander through my day I find myself thinking "I need to mention that to Treyson." Inevitably dinner, bath time, and everyday life gets in the way so today I compile the list...


The 17 Things that my Little Man Should Know


1. Love letters are timeless.


Before you say it isn't "cool anymore" know that amazing men have done it. Actually the most amazing men did it. Diego wrote to Frida. Oscar Wilde wrote to Lord Douglas. Napoleon wrote endless letters to Josephine; heck even Ernest Hemingway wrote them. One day they will be worth infinitely far more than anything you could ever imagine.

2. Think before you ink.




It may seem ridiculous for your Momma to be saying this. Yes, I have MANY tattoos. The truth is very simple though; I have yet to regret a single one. When I was about sixteen and started to consider what I may want to permanently brand my body with I made a very simple rule for myself that remains true to this day: I must want a tattoo, unaltered from its original conception, for a least a year before I will allow myself to get it. I mostly have memorial tattoos, and that really special one of your handwriting.


3. Draw, paint, laugh, attempt, fail, and most of all create.

I loved to dream up creations that would make the world a more beautiful place. I would dream of paintings and sketches that seemed impossible and I would work really hard to make something amazingly special out of absolutely nothing. Most of the things I learned about myself I learned through this process. I learned to attempt ideas, and I also learned that I could fail and that it would be okay...there was always another sheet of paper to try again on later.

4. Take your time to venture into the world.

The world can be a rough place. I do my best to keep it magical for you but once you start embarking out into the world you can never really go back. You can't change your experiences, you can't change your consequences, and you certainly can't change your memories. I may have embarked on the world a little too soon...just hang onto the rope that is childhood. You will slip soon enough, you don't have to let go just yet.

5. Be accepting of everyone.




Not everyone will be just like you, just like not every color is the same. Could Frodo have made his incredible journey without the help of many different types of people? Could Harry have defeated "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" without the help of many different types of wizards? Many different types of people help achieve EVERYTHING that is much bigger in this world. People are often categorized: black, gay, asian, white, straight, trans, hispanic, tall, short, questioning, special, handicapped...None of those categories matter. I can promise you that you love someone that fits into one of those categories at this very moment in your life...and I have faith that you will continue to love them no matter how the world tells you to feel about "them". You should always remain true to your heart, and your heart knows that their heart is no different than yours.

6.  Read Broadly. 

You will inevitably find a type of books that you really enjoy, and while I encourage you to read them I want you to read all sorts of books. The written word will help you imagine life from other peoples perspectives and that is a skill that will serve you well for the rest of your life. 

7. Pink and Purple are lovely colors.

There is no such thing as a manly color and a girly color. Colors are simply colors and whatever color you like is perfectly fine with me. Blue and Green don't have to be your favorite simply because corporations make everything for little boys in blue and green. Any color that you enjoy is beautiful because it brings you joy and that is simply all that matters.

8. When the first girl breaks your heart...

"One day son this girl will think of what she's done and hurting you will be the first of many more regrets to come' and he said 'if she doesn't call then it's her fault, and it's her loss."
-The Avett Brothers  

You will feel like your world is crashing down on you and you can't possibly breathe another breath without her at your side...then you will breathe. And you with breathe again. And you will breathe again. With every breath it becomes a little bit easier. Trust me son, I went for months just simply counting from breath to breath. Now I breathe with absolute ease.

She will always regret losing her first love.

9. Your word should always mean more than your signature.




A contract is binding, but so is a promise. You will be a man of your word and your word should mean more than any piece of paper that you could ever sign. Your words have weight. Each word weighs a varying amount, but the tone and the cadence of your words piles or eases the weight of that word onto the person that you are speaking them to. When a gentlemen eases the weight off of another person by taking it upon himself he holds steadfast. A promise is a promise. No signature needed.

10. Search and pursue your passion with ferver.

Tomorrow if you come to me and explain that you want to be a ice skating rockstar, and you are willing to work hard for that dream, then we will enroll you in a every ice skating, guitar, voice lesson, and drum class in this city. I want you to find your dream, whatever it may be and follow it fervently. Stalk it. Hunt it. You are talented enough to accomplish it. You are special enough to succeed at it, and quite honestly, I can't wait to watch you do it!

11. Crying is perfectly fine.

Crying is more than okay. I actually encourage it. Sometimes you need to let a tear roll down your cheek simply because there is nothing else in the world that can express what you fell. If that is the case, let it roll. I will never tell you to "Man up" or "Tough it out". I want you to be tough, but I also want you to be able to feel. I want you to be a man, but I want you to be man enough to admit when something touches you so deeply that it moves you to tears.

12. Be a protector.



When you feel that something that happens around you is wrong, speak up. Speak up loudly. There will inevitably be a time when someone in this world will need you to speak up for them, and there will also inevitably be a time when you will need someone to speak up for you.

13. Never be the person that falls in line with the crowd.

I know you are more of an individual than you will ever want to admit. I never felt like I fit in with my peers, but now as an adult I am so thankful for that. It gave me the strength to be an individual. In a world where hundreds of people will try and find a way to get you to fall in line with them my answer is very easy, don't. Trust your instincts. Be your own person. It isn't always the easiest way, but it is always the most rewarding. 

14. You and I are a team, first a foremost.



I have your back, forever. You are my son and you are my life. We will always be a team and you can come to me with the smallest and largest problems in the world. We will conquer everything together. 

15. Lightsaber battles can cure any bad day.
You know we are famous for our lightsaber battles. I mean, really, is anything better in the entire world? I don't think the lightsaber part is as important in the equation as the laughter part. The idea is, and has always been, to play. Somedays, when the day just seems to bad to manage, we just need to play and laugh. 

16. You are far better than any super hero could ever be.


Iron Man, The Flash, The Hulk, Hawkeye, all of those fellas' are awesome. You have the possibility of being far greater than any of them could ever dream. Right now they seem like heroes to you, but one day you WILL be a hero to someone. Your actions make you mean something to every person that you come in contact with. Make you actions worth being super.

17. Love is love, and my hope is that you find it in it's truest form one day.
One day someone will tell you what love is. INGORE THEM. No one understands love. No one knows how it grows, or why, but most importantly no one has the right to tell you who to love. Love is love and you will know it when you feel it. When you do feel that feeling for the first time your life will change forever. My only wish is that find that feeling one day. Whomever it is with will be more than lucky to have you, and you will be lucky to have them. 

-A2-D2

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