The More Things Change...

So, you may have noticed that things have changed around here a little bit. Especially in my life. I know that we've been saying we are going to catch up, but my life has changed so dramatically in the last six months that I didn't even know where to start.

Saying that, I've decided not to let that hold me back anymore. So, I'm just going to start. I'm going to tell you what has been going on, and then we will move forward in whatever way we figure out fits.

Sound good? Great. I thought so too.


First off, I've missed this. I don't want to spill personal life stuff on a geekery blog, but I think it is the only way to put what has been going on in perspective and help you understand where I'm probably heading from here.

So, here we go.

Around Thanksgiving Treyson came home with an AWFUL report card. I mean, the child has always had straight A's, occasionally a B...and we had a progress report full of D's and F's. It freaked me out. I immediately asked for a parent teacher conference and we decided there could be (at least) one of three issues, but more likely a cocktail of all of them

1. The Ninja and I had been having some issues at home. We all know that you try and keep those things between your partner and yourself, but inevitably they start to work their way into every aspect of your life and I had a terrible feeling that those issues were starting to affect Treyson.

2. We had a couple of conversations with teachers about the possibility of Treyon having a learning disability. He had never had poor enough grades to warrant any type of testing, but there had been casual conversations about the possibility of there being an issue.

3. Treyson suffers from ADHD. So many children are diagnosed today with a form of ADD & ADHD. I happen to live with the poster child of ADHD. His teachers felt that there was the very real possibility that his medication was no longer working for him.

The easiest thing to start with out of those three was the medication. We headed off to the doctor and had a chat about his medication. Treyson had been on the same medication, Focalin XR, for almost four years. His weight, due to loss of appetite, had always been an issue, but we were starting to see weight gain with him for the first time in almost 3 years. That was also a sign that his medication was not being as effective as it should be. We did ultimately decided to not only switch his medication, but switch the entire class of medication. That meant that we had to begin with a starter dose and work our way up. So, a child that was on the highest dose allowed of his previous medication went back to the lowest dose possible with the new medication. It took us almost 5 months to build back up to a "sufficient" dose of his new medication...but then came the side effects. Those five months reminded me what true patience was. For every parent feeling themselves loosing their patience with a child that suffers with ADHD, try this. Every time he was driving me BONKERS! I would stop, close my eyes, and just listen to him and imagine being in his mind. As crazy and the noise, impulsivity, and hyperactivity can makes us...imagine for a second being them. The inability to control your brain, thoughts, actions, and body sure gave me a new perspective on his world. I'm not making excuses for poor behavior by any means, he is still accountable for his actions with or without his medication, but it is sure eye opening to imagine your little ones thought process and the frustration they must also feel.

The Ninja's and I's home life issues ultimately worked themselves out when we decided that it was best for him to move out of our shared home. We are still on good terms, and co-parent Treyson making him our ultimate priority. Many of you will remember that Treyson is not The Ninja's biological son, but he has been the primary father figure in his life since he was four. The Ninja is really the only father that Treyson has ever known and we have agreed that he will remain that way. Not that it has been simple, at all, but I know that we are all much happier with this arrangement...even though it has definitely taken a great amount of adjusting on all of our parts. Not all of the moments have been easy, graceful, or even our best, but we are finding the way to make it work for us. Trying our best to make Treyson the priority helps immensely in putting the heartache, hurt feelings, and resentment behind us.

Finally, the learning disability. The best answer we have right now is dysgraphia. It is a relatively uncommon diagnosis, but Treyson exhibits so many of the hallmarks of this learning disability it would be ridiculous to deny. Dysgraphia is a deficiency in the ability to write, primarily handwriting, but also coherence. He will be formally tested over the summer by a third party, but we have already started with some accommodations to help ease his academic burden. I can proudly say that Treyson brought home his progress report last Thursday completely decked out in A's & B's.

Treyson has since switch his medication back to his prior regime. We experienced some pretty terrible side effects due to the new medication once he reached a 60 mg dose. Ultimately the decision was made to go back to the Focalin through the end of the school year because at least we know what to expect from that medication and accommodations can be made.

I am also no longer working at the museum. Life has thrown me so many curveballs and that was just another one. Ultimately, I can see it now as a blessing, but so much of my heart belongs to that place and it has been difficult to deal with. For now I am focusing on Treyson, the end of his fourth grade year, and all of the upsides... more time to BLOG and focus on my new passion projects...political activism.

Oh yeah, and I have a new boyfriend. He's wonderful. There simply not enough words to describe the healing and happiness that has found its way into my heart in the last few months. When life sends you a unicorn (for real, he's a southern gentleman who can fix anything, loves children with all of his soul, is a tremendous father & family man, a democrat, a feminist, and will lay next to me and read a book just as easily change the oil in my car) you latch on and stick with him. He is my person, and I know that in my soul...so I'm sure you will be hearing a lot more about him in the future.

At this moment I'm looking forward to spending the summer with Treyson...and my new boyfriend and his children. We have some great adventures planned for the summer and I can't wait to bring EGers along for the ride.

Okay...so that is the run down. It has been an adventure, and I don't exactly know where we are going from here, but no more abandonment from A2-D2.

 Pinky Promise


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